My Misleading Mind

I arrived at an old decaying square in my city, where there was a playground painted mustard yellow, but the rust corroding the structures were more visible than the paint. The strong wind made the swings sway to the left, making a continuous irritating squeak.

I looked around and realized how neglected that square had been. I noticed a rotting wooden bench and went to sit down. I just hope it doesn't break, I thought to myself.

The chilling air sent shivers down my spine. The night came creeping in, silently, which made that place ever more depressing. I remember looking at my watch frantically. It was stupid of me, as if giving it a dirty look would make the slow, dragging time magically go from five to eight.

I was already counting the seconds in my head, shrinking in shame as a child in that bench―as a five-year-old who's afraid of the boogie man. And there I stayed for four hours and eight minutes.

I heard a resounding noise across the square and jumped clumsily, but strongly to my feet. I desperately ran towards that sound, yelling rowdily, “I knew it! I knew you would not forget me!”

When I finally got there, I was out of breath, but could see that the noise and the reason for my excitement were actually two dirty dying dogs fighting. I could no longer fight back the tears after I saw that. My face was all wet and I could hear my sobbing echoing in my ears. My body was shaking and I suddenly felt my knees go weak. 

I simply collapsed onto the cold floor. My mind betrayed my heart, showing me the obvious truth in a cruel and unfair way.

I was as neglected as those dogs, as that square.

Yes, they had forgotten all about me.

VANESSA EMANUELA was born in 1994 in Recife, State of Pernambuco. She finished high school in 2011 and wants to go to college to study Psychology.

She started writing when she was eleven years old and spent a few months at the hospital after an asthma attack. 

Today, she writes for her blog, called Delírios ocultos da meia noite [Hidden Midnight Delusions], where she posts stories about romance and emotional dramas.

Even though she enjoys contemplating the mystery of loneliness, Vanessa says she's living her best moment since she found a better inspiration: Love.

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